What being “broke” has taught me about consumerism

I’ve put broke in inverted commas because I’m by no means poor, what we are now is asset-rich and cash-poor. Our house is comfortably worth around half a million pounds, which sounds amazing to me even now. If you’d told me that was what my house would be worth when I was younger, I would be gasping. Actually, I probably would have expected it, with the arrogance of youth, and believed that I would be heading off to meet some friends for lunch in London and then getting my hair and nails done.

Back to being broke. As you may know, we extended our house, starting during the pandemic. We had worked out affordability based on what we were earning and repayments. Of course, budgets got extended as time went on and I wasn’t willing to compromise on certain things. I knew this was my one chance to get things finished off how we wanted. We ended up borrowing more than we wanted to initially, and now we have higher repayments. I also changed jobs which meant I had less money coming in, then I switched again and am now freelance.

All this means is now we haven’t been on holiday in 2 years, a takeaway is now a luxury, we have to meal plan every week so we don’t waste food, I never buy myself any clothes or luxuries, everything has been stripped back as much as possible. Every purchase has to be carefully considered. Before you start feeling sorry for me (I know you’re not!) we have a beautiful home, everyone has their own room and William has his own computer set up so he hardly leaves his room. To look at us in our home you would think we were rich. We are rich I suppose, I just don’t feel it sometimes.

I’m incredibly grateful for what we have. We have enough food to eat, and enough for the odd luxury, I can clothe the children and provide for their needs. William is even going on a school trip to Italy in February. We all have our health. I have an amazing emotional support dog, Archie. I often look at my tea caddy and smile. The reason was, when we were finishing off the kitchen, I was somewhat obsessed with how it would look with the perfect tea, coffee, and sugar caddy. I searched and searched online and stores but couldn’t find one set I liked enough to take pride of place. As the time grew near to me buying one, it became a luxury purchase and not deemed necessary. I decided to make do until I could afford it. After a while, I remembered how much I liked my old tin tea caddy, which was just a tin from a teabag company we had been using for a while. It does go with the kitchen, and it’s all mine. The sugar pot was one we bought with some John Lewis vouchers we got for Christmas a while ago and we chose it together. The colours don’t exactly match the decor, but it still has its charm. I decided they were perfect as they were and we didn’t need a new set.

From that ramble, you’ve probably gathered that I’ve learned that we often don’t need new stuff all the time. When I see bloggers and influencers constantly linking this that and the other that they’ve bought or they want, I just see unnecessary spending. I feel silly linking things now because I don’t see the point in buying so much stuff. We brought out our Halloween decorations from the loft recently and they gave us great joy getting them out, there was no need to buy more tat. Of course, I still love shopping, but I don’t get that feeling of FOMO so much anymore when I see all the pretty things I would want.

What we have missed most from our frugal period are experiences, travel, and being spontaneous. We’re National Trust members and English heritage members (Mr L gets English heritage for free) so we go to a lot of National Trust days out, but I do miss the sense of adventure you get from being able to travel, hop on a train to London and explore, or book an experience day like go ape or an escape room. I also miss takeaways and food luxuries. But mostly, it’s actual experiences rather than things I miss. We are lucky, it won’t last forever, we will pay off some debts and life will get easier, we can still afford most things and with my qualifications as a nurse, if I want to I could work more and bank more money.

So, if you see me linking something on Instagram, it’s because I feel it is genuinely worth it or that I have been paid to promote it (in which case, I will declare it as an ad). With Christmas coming up it’s easy to get caught up in what you think you should buy, when in reality, any spare money that month is the same as any other month. I’m still trying to get out of my overdraft let alone save any for a rainy day. Luckily Mr L is slightly better off but it will still be a frugal Christmas, with no big ticket items. It was the same last Christmas and the children didn’t mind one bit.