I’m assuming since you’re reading this that you know what an empath is and you identify as one, but just in case, here’s a little definition for you.
An empath is a person highly attuned to the feelings and emotions of those around them. Empaths feel what another person is feeling at a deep emotional level.
Identifying as an empath is different from just feeling empathy, which pretty much everyone does. Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions of others, whereas an empath takes those feelings on. It can be very draining. Have you ever been with someone negative who just brings you down? Most people can shake it off afterwards, but an empath can be left with the after effects for a while.
So with that being said, how does being an empath affect us as a parent? I can only speak as a mother and from my own experience. My eldest is 13, my youngest is nearly 8, and I’ve been a mother of a special needs disabled child as well as a mother to two neurodivergant children.
Here’s how being an empath has affected me as a parent in the different stages.
Having a baby is a huge life change for everyone, as an empath I became acutely aware of her needs, hyper aware. Every little cry and whimper I felt acutely as a need or a want. I viewed the crying as unhappiness and felt it all. It didn’t help that she was an unsettled baby, in part because we didn’t know she had a life limiting conditions. My situation wasn’t unique though, and it’s been through sharing and writing about it that I know this, so many women have messaged me and felt seen.
As an empath you want to be able to improve their mood (which you feel is bad because of the crying) to lift yours, but you have to accept that crying is their only way of communicating in any way. Taking on all that perceived negative emotion can leave you feeling on edge, depressed and anxious.
As they grow, it gets easier to decipher their emotions as well as understand them. I know exactly what they need now, how they’re feeling, when they’re hiding something, when they’re lying, and even if they don’t know what they need I am very good at anticipating what they need if that makes sense.
All that makes me an attentive parent, but it’s also very emotionally draining. I often find myself touched out and burnt out, then I become withdrawn, unable to be the best parent I want to be. I feel sorry for my children sometimes, because I’m fun Mum one moment, then not so fun mum the next, needing time out.
I don’t think I’m describing anything unusual here, I’m sure many of you can relate to what I’m saying – let me know if you do.
I do get this and am exactly the same, I hate when my kids are sad, worrrying and if I can not do anything to make it better I feel the guilt. It got a lot harder when my daughter became ill, and a cuddle and calpol just did not do the trick anymore and it was beyond my control. My Mum told me I am a good Mum and I do also need time out to be that fun mum she knows
I can relate to this and sometimes think that I am the only one who feels this way. It is very draining sometimes. x
I’m not a parent but I am an empath and I can imagine how hard it would be to parent when you are so acutely aware of their feelings.
Oh gosh yes this really makes sense to me. It’s also helped me to understand the different parenting of others, who are not empaths. I’ve always struggled in the past to understand how they can be so much more relaxed about their children’s problems etc. I agree an advantage of it is being able to understand them and predict their needs etc but yes it IS exhausting xxx
I have a child who is an empath and it is tough trying to help him navigate his feelings.